Lack of Love

I am quite confused as to where my life is going. I don't know where I would be 5 years from now. But I want to change all that, as they say “only the dead fish swims with the river”, I don't wanna let everything happen to me, I wanna make things happen instead.

I want to change how people see me. I want to change how people feel about me. I want to change myself, maybe not for good but for the sake of not getting hurt and feeling the pain every single moment. I wanna change all that happened to me in the last couple of years.

I used to think how lucky I was, but I know now i'm in fact the unluckiest man alive. Un-lucky since there's no-one who loves me, no one to stand by my side when times would be grey. I thought I had everything in life but thats not the truth.

I'm all alone in this big world. Alone even though there are prolly few hundred people I know and who I care about. But it seems there's no one who cares about me. Theres not a single person in the world who can understand how I feel. I'm not just another face on this earth. I have an identity of my own. And I want people to accept me as I am. I am tired of being just a shoulder for other people, I want a shoulder too. I want someone who would cry with me someone I can share my secrets, feelings with..

Tears may not show up on my eyes but its my heart which cries tears of blood, there's not a single day I don't feel lonely, dejected. People just keep taking advantage of me, and I know they don't really care about me.

I hope there's someone out there who would understand me and like me for what I really am. Someone who would love me truly. I hope I meet that someone really soon because I can't take this loneliness no-more. I think I would be gone forever if things remain the same.

I try hard to love life, but I forget that its in the movies where people can forget about all the pains and move on with their life. In reality that don't happen.

I HOPE PEOPLE BEGIN TO LOVE ME.